Rules for the arctic

Given extreme circumstances, there’s nothing wrong with bending a few rules, throwing  a few bones, or going out on a limb to give the benefit of the doubt that you probably would not otherwise. So, when it’s all of -8 F (for the daytime high) and you hold a position of power such that you can influence the following, please do!

  1. Work should be optional
  2. In the event that point 1 is impossible, or that you’re too bat-shit crazy dedicated to take advantage of point 1, parking ramps and meters near work should be free (both available and not requiring payment in exchange for goods)
  3. The fob-secured front door of fancy apartment buildings should be kindly disabled by the ditzy and oblivious lovely front desk worker lady for the totally harmless looking college student frantically trying to call their friend to let them in with nearly frozen fingers on a handicapped phone screen
  4. You should not have to punch and re-punch your zip code into the unresponsive metal keypad at the gas pump to confirm that you really have not stolen the credit card you’re trying to use just to purchase gas, paying at the pump, on the coldest damn day of the year
  5. Gyms should be free (see note in point 2)

I hope that very few of you can actually related to any of these. If you can though, I hope your car has a full tank of gas and that you have a job where you can call in cold or just work from home!

1 Comment

Filed under General

One response to “Rules for the arctic

  1. Jim Bob

    Goood rule of thumb i this sub-zero weather is to always keep your Gas tank at least half filled,

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