Pheona has been seriously pissing me off! HELP!

Since moving in with our new housemates, things have been a little rough. For both of us.

Has a human, I avoid being home, complain to my friends and eventually say nasty things to two particular individuals when living conditions plummet below what I am willing to endure.

As a cat, Pheona pees on things. Lots of things. On the roommates’ couches, laundry, cosmetics and bed. And on my bed. With or without me in it. x-(

As it is, I usually only get between 5 and 6 hrs of sleep a night. It isn’t much, but fine, this is what I signed up for at this point. However, having to sleep on the floor because my mattress is still wet with the vinegar solution I used to scrub it, or being chilly because I’m only covered with some fleece blankets I could scrounge up after she somehow manage to soil not one, but both of my down comforters, or when I’m already putting up with both of the above and I wake up to this blunt tool of an animal pissing ON ME in my crappy (and now pee-y), make-shift nest… Let’s just that I have never before been so close to owning a pair of beautiful grey fur mittens as I was that day.

After both surviving the immediate minutes, hours and few days following we have been taking steps to try to solve this problem.

1. The bed is now covered at all times (aside from when I am sleeping in it) with a most hideous plastic mattress cover from an equally hideous discount store from which I refuse to admit making this purchase…

2. All items are kept off of the floor, bed, desk, chair or anything else that the princess could climb into and pee on and put in the closet or piled on the clothes drying rack…

3. We have come to accept that the cheap down comforter will be washed on a weekly basis with no hopes of it lasting through to next winter.

4. The precious German down comforter will not see the light of day once it returns from the cleaners.

5. Laundry detergent will be purchased on a monthly basis in volumes that I previously would not have been able to use in a year.

6. The litter box is scooped twice a day and the litter is completely changed and box is washed once every 2 weeks

But wait? What? What is that Princess Pheona?… That still isn’t enough?!?!

It is in fact apparently not enough as this morning I again woke up to her peeing in my bed. x-(

SO, tonight a new mission has begun.

So far we have done the following:

1. Cleaned the bathroom.
2. Cleaned the litter box.
3. Sprayed the litter box with some litter-box-freshener spray (the pet product market is seriously something else…but that is for another post…)
4. We have lined the litter box with a fresh sent litter box liner (for easy litter removal and replacement
5. We have changed to a new litter that is more clumping, does “DOUBLE DUTY! ELIMINATES BOTH! Feces odors and urine odors!” and is conveniently sold in value size boxes (typically bought by cat ladies with more cats than she can remember names for)

Hopefully this will finally be enough for the princess. If it isn’t, hopefully she will grow some English language skills (or Spanish or German or Bengali or Russian … I’m not picky) and tells me WTF she needs!

In the mean time, if anyone is interested in consulting for the doctor, I’d love love love any suggestions/recommendations/tips to help put an end to this once and for all!

HELP!